Thoughts from the Archangel

Oh, my dear Ozzie.  How do I love your rampages and rants?  It’s totally got folks up in arms:  How dare he say he’ll retaliate? says one kind-hearted soul; another says that it’s a scaled down version of murder-for-hire.  (I’m sorry; that one made me laugh out loud.  Totally absurd.)  Yes, the crazy Ozzie that is not married to Sharon said this:

If I see someone hit my player, and I know they hit him on purpose it’s two guys going down. I don’t care if I get suspended,” Guillen said. “I rather have me suspended for two games than have my players on the DL for 30 days.

I, for one, think this is a fair assessment.  If I’m the leader of a team and another team comes in and whaps one of my own, it’s totally game on.  There are ways other than commanding a knee-capping or a hit batter, and there are certainly ways to keep it on the quiet.  I think a lot of people know this is how it works, but they don’t talk about it.

Yes, of course, it’s dangerous to whip a 90-mph fastball at someone’s head.  It’s also dangerous to crowd the plate and to taunt the pitcher.  I’m a firm believer in lessons that need to be taught. 

Of course, these professional writer-type people can say this so much better than I.   However, in the interest of stirring the pot, I’m going to give you my list of players that should get a plunking.  Maybe two or three for good measure.   These aren’t in any order, so no one’s panties should be in a twist over where their (least) favorite player sits.  I’m an equal opportunity hater.

David Ortiz (Photo: AP via bostonherald.com)

So maybe it’s a little mean-spirited to want a guy who’s under so much duress to get beaned with a ball.  I mean, he thought that test was anonymous and whatever he might have bought/took wasn’t illegal in the sport then.  At least not specifically.  As far as I’m concerned, cheating has always been against the rules.  That’s why it’s called cheating.  Plus, how would he know that I find his nickname so damned annoying?

The Yankees (Photo via sportsnetwork.com)

 I was going to say “the entire Yankee organization”, but I have decided that it isn’t really the case.  I actually still kind of like Nick Swisher and Xavier Nady.

Prince Fielder (Photo: AP via usatoday.com)

 I know he’s a first baseman, and, therefore, is allowed to be sorta slow and hefty.  I have no real reason behind my dislike of Prince; well, other than he keeps claiming that he’s a vegetarian and I don’t believe him.  His plunking the other day was just plain awesome, and his half-hearted attempt to “charge the clubhouse” was awesomely bad.

Josh Hamilton (Photo: AP via sportsnet.ca)

I know, I’m going straight to Hell for this one.  I am a cynic by nature and learning, so I have a really hard time buying Mr. Hamilton’s feel-good story, especially when he recently had to explain a few photos that found their way to teh interwebs.  Sure, people with addictions battle it every day, and it’s HARD.  I am not denying that.  My problem is that he didn’t fess up to these things until the photos came out.  It’s sorta like being on that list of 103…sorta.  So, maybe he could use a good plunk scare to keep him on that straight and narrow that he so desperately needs.

Image via DirectTV.com

So they don’t actually play baseball.  They could play in a softball tournament…and then Jennie Finch could whip a pitch at them!