Thoughts from the Archangel

It’s not always easy to live on this planet with other people.  For me, it seems like I’ve been surrounded on at least three and a half sides by blatant stupidity and aggravation.  The other half a side is the bright spot – the people I can actually stand.  It’s not that I’m elitist – I just don’t like stupid people, and I certainly don’t like people who are stupid on purpose.

This morning, the drive in brought out some new bad drivers (if you want to see the old ones, go here):

I Am The Most Important Being On The Road:  This person does not know the word “merge”.  If they have heard of that word before, they know not what it means.  The consequence of this is that they expect that you will move over just to let them into the lane that they want.  If you don’t move (because that person has to merge WITH YOU), they are coming over anyway, your car be damned.  Like most other bad drivers, they give you the dirty look.

I Am In A Hurry, Therefore I Will Drive Like An Asshole:  This person was out in full force this morning.  Somewhat related to “At Least Pull My Hair If You’re Going To Ride My Ass Like That”, this person will whip across lanes (sans signal, of course), cut people off, ride your ass, and even resort to driving on the shoulder just to get somewhere a few seconds faster.  I always wish for the cop to be around when this person makes an appearance.

I Am Having An Important Conversation On My Cell And Cannot Be Bothered By Little Things Such As Driving:  I guess it should say “…Such As The Basics Of Driving” because this driver ignores most rules of the road and everyone else around them because they are so engrossed in that device they’ve got stuck to the side of their face.  Why people are having in-depth conversations before 7am is beyond me, but the surge driving, wandering out of their lane, failure to signal, and absolute last second maneuvers are just ridiculous.  These drivers are possibly related to “I Loive Here Yet Have No Idea Where I’m Going”.  On a positive note, this person does not know that you are anywhere around, so you won’t get a dirty look from them.

I Am Totally Incapable Of Making My Own Decision/Sheeple:  These are the people who, when there are three lanes available to get into the garage, must all pile into one lane and block the rest off because that’s what everyone else is doing.  These people will look shocked and appalled should you jump into the empty lane that’s been that way for five minutes instead of waiting behind the 17 other Sheeple.  And since the three entrance lanes all merge down to one again, you get the inevitable return of Mr./Ms. I Am The Most Important Being On The Road.

Once again, there are more.  There are so many more stereotypically bad drivers that I will probably never be able to identify them all…living in a small city doesn’t help either – the farmers of the rural areas (where I grew up) and the craziness of the bigger cities have their very own special breeds of morons.  I’ll probably run across them all at some point.  Until that time, I just have to find humor in their idiocy, and I hope you will too.  Road rage is ugly and you can go to jail for that!!

For today:

Good:  Today is my last day this week, and I am not doing too badly on my deadlines.  The DH is having his friends at the house this weekend.

Bad:  I volunteer to leave when the DH has the guys over, but since I have obligations on Saturday, I couldn’t take off to Chicago for the weekend.

Ugly:  This morning, someone’s radio was playing U2’s Vertigo.  A guy walked by the Cube’O'Doom and said “I don’t like that song because it don’t start in English.  We shouldn’t allow that crap on the radio in America.”  I just looked in disbelief…hello, MORON!  He probably loves the song La Bamba tho…

Funny:  I can’t be the only person who finds it abso-freakin’-lutely hilarious that the porn industry is looking for a bailout.  There’s all sorts of articles using the opportunity for bad puns to abound.  Congress hasn’t responded…they probably have a headache.